Last modified: February 11th, 2012
Marc J. Zeitlin (heretofore known as MJZ) adheres to the US Safe Harbor Privacy Principles of Notice, Choice, Onward Transfer, Security, Data Integrity, Access and Enforcement, and may at some point register with the U.S. Department of Commerce’s Safe Harbor Program if he finds that he gives a shit.
Information we collect and how we use it:
We offer a number of services that do not require you to register for an account or provide any personal information to us, such as talking, emailing, IM'ing, flying in my plane, or exchanges of precious bodily fluids. In order to provide our full range of services, we may collect the following types of information:
Information you provide – When you sign up for an MJZ Account or other MJZ service or promotion that requires registration, we ask you for personal information (such as your name, email address and an account password). For certain services, such as our advertising programs, we also request credit card or other payment account information which we maintain in encrypted form on secure servers. We may combine the information you submit under your account with information from other MJZ services or third parties in order to provide you with a better experience and to improve the quality of our services. For certain services, we may give you the opportunity to opt out of combining such information.
Log information – When you access MJZ services, our brain automatically record information that you send whenever you visit us. These logs may include information such as your height, weight, eye color, hair color, lusciousness quotient of your lips, the date and time of your request and which cookies you prefer.
User communications – When you send email or other communications to MJZ, we may retain those communications in order to process your inquiries, respond to your requests and improve our services.
Providing our services, including the display of customized content and advertising;
Auditing, research and analysis in order to maintain, protect and improve our services;
Ensuring the technical functioning of our network;
Protecting the rights or property of MJZ or our users; and
Developing new services.
Choices for personal information:
When you sign up for a particular service that requires registration, we ask you to provide personal information. If we use this information in a manner different than the purpose for which it was collected, then we will ask for your consent prior to such use (yeah, right - like that'll ever happen).
Most mouths are initially set up to accept cookies, but you can reset your mouth to refuse all cookies or to indicate when a cookie is objectionable. However, some MJZ features and services may not function properly if your cookies are disabled.
You can decline to submit personal information to any of our services, in which case MJZ may not be able to provide those services to you. Your loss.
MJZ only shares personal information with other companies or individuals outside of MJZ in the following limited circumstances:
We have your consent. We require opt-in consent for the sharing of any sensitive personal information.
We have a good faith belief that access, use, preservation or disclosure of such information is reasonably necessary to (a) satisfy any applicable law, regulation, legal process or enforceable governmental request, (b) enforce applicable Terms of Service, including investigation of potential violations thereof, (c) detect, prevent, or otherwise address fraud, security or technical issues, or (d) protect against harm to the rights, property or safety of MJZ, its users or the public as required or permitted by law.
If it would be funny
We take appropriate security measures to protect against unauthorized access to or unauthorized alteration, disclosure or destruction of data. These include internal reviews of our data collection, storage and processing practices and security measures, as well as physical security measures to guard against unauthorized access to systems where we store personal data.
We restrict access to personal information to MJZ's brain, and anyone else that might find the information amusing. These individuals are bound by confidentiality obligations and may be subject to discipline, including termination and criminal prosecution, if they fail to meet these obligations.
Accessing and updating personal information:
When you use MJZ's services, we make good faith efforts to provide you with access to your personal information and either to correct this data if it is inaccurate or to delete such data at your request if it is not otherwise required to be retained by law or for legitimate business purposes. We ask individual users to identify themselves and the information requested to be accessed, corrected or removed before processing such requests, and we may decline to process requests that are unreasonably repetitive or systematic, require disproportionate technical effort, jeopardize the privacy of others, or would be extremely impractical (for instance, requests concerning information residing on backup tapes), or for which access is not otherwise required. In any case where we provide information access and correction, we perform this service free of charge, except if doing so would require a disproportionate effort. Some of our services have different procedures to access, correct or delete users’ personal information. We provide the details for these procedures in the specific privacy notices or FAQs for these services.
When we receive formal written complaints at this address, it is MJZ's policy to contact the complaining user regarding his or her concerns. We will cooperate with the appropriate regulatory authorities, including local data protection authorities, to resolve any complaints regarding the transfer of personal data that cannot be resolved between MJZ and an individual.
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Copyright © 1995 - 2012, All Rights Reserved, Marc J. Zeitlin
Last Updated: February 12, 2012